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Joke of the Day
"Want to read a great construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it."
Next Joke
"The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull..."
"What do you get when you burn a Hungarian ghost? Ghoul-ash!"
"That awkward moment... ...when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring...and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod."
"Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills? They don't have windows."
"1-year-old: *shrieks repeatedly* Me: Why is she so loud? Wife: That's how she talks. Apparently she speaks fluent pterodactyl."
"Thanks to Target's full length 3 way mirrors, I'm now painfully aware I look like a melting candle from the back."
"I T H I N K W E S H O U L D R U I N P E O P L E S T I M E L I N E B Y T W E E T I N G L I K E T H I S A L L D A Y . . . . ."
"Macbeth Joke Lady Macbeth: Out damned spot! The dog named Spot: Ruff ruff ruff. [Exeunt/Leaves] Spot (Aside): Wow, I wonder why she hates me so much? I thought my bark was polite enough!"
"What do you call a 90 year old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip."