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Joke of the Day

"Thanks to Target's full length 3 way mirrors, I'm now painfully aware I look like a melting candle from the back."

"Rick Astley will lend you his Pixar collection... But he's never gonna give you Up."

"Employer: ""In this job we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."""

"Why did an emo become an accountant? There's no cuts like tax cuts."

"If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback"

"I tripped over some shrooms the other day...Because I didn't see them. It was dark and I was high."

"I'm not sure which super villain I want to be for Halloween yet Right now it's between The Joker and the white privileged male."

"Why did Yellow divorce Green? Because Green blue Indigo."

"Minions.3D.BluRayRiP.4K.aXX0.torrent Talk like a pirate day"

"A cat got run over A little boy told his teacher that his cat got run over its ass and the teacher said its thats terrible but its called a rectum. the boy said: rectum? it near killed him."