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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a 90 year old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip."

"I told my wife my secret to losing 50 pounds in 1 minute. I buy everyone a round at the pub."

"I bet if Bruce Banner had children he'd be the Hulk more than 90% of the time."

"What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city? Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love."

"There needs to be a third option because getting older or dying aren't working for me."

"You left a note on the fridge saying ""This isn't working. Goodbye"" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don't get it."

"[clenching fists] ""I'll fight someone"" Waiter: For the last time sir, 'cheese plate' describes the items on the plate not the plate itself"

"Frownie wink wins for most confusing emoji ;("

"Always pay your taxes with a smile I tried, but the IRS still wanted cash."

"What's the difference between your dick and your money? I can find a lot of girls that'll blow your money."