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Joke of the Day

"What does an egg say to a pot of boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"What were the martyr's last words? I believe in peace in our time"

"Why doesn't a rooster wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head"

"How can i convince my Buddhist friend that he owes me money from 3 lifetimes ago?"

"Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they..."

"On the street or subway you can only imagine what that idiot is thinking. On Twitter, you get to see what that idiot is thinking."

"*kid opens Easter egg* *egg begins beeping* ""Dad why's it ticking"" SON NO THAT'S FROM THE- *egg explodes* *sheds tear* Middle-Easter bunny"

"What do you call a pensioner at a murder trial? A juryatric."

"Why can't animals take tests? Too many cheetahs!!!!"

"I was going to post a gay joke.... Butt fuck it"