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Joke of the Day
"How can you be sure you have counterfeit money? If it's a three-dollar bill you can be sure."
Next Joke
"War: what is it good for? Resource acquisition, eliminating your enemies, blowing stuff up, feeling like a big man. So, lots actually."
"A priest, a rabbi, a horse, and a blonde walk into a bar... ...The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""
"""We should definitely let dolphins go into space instead of monkeys"" said one scientist obviously not a dolphin dressed up as a scientist"
"To the guy that invented zero... Thanks for nothing."
"Q: Why was a blind man's leg wet? A: Her dog was blind too."
"diet tip: eat all your meals in front of a industrial fan"
"5yo: I dropped my damn spoon! Me: Don't be using that word! 5yo: Is it a bad word? Me: It is.. 5yo: Ok..I dropped my damn ""food scooper""?"
"Wait a sec...That's not how the proverb goes! A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. But once it breaks, you have two really strong chains, which, in some ways, is more useful."
"yo momma so fat when her name was the answer to a crossword clue, it was 10 spaces down and 10000 spaces WIDE!"