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Joke of the Day

"I'm so poor I can't even pay for my own consequences."

"is thinking that with their track record, buying condoms at a BP station is just taking too big a risk!"

"Divorces are like gangbangs... Everyone is trying to fuck you and nobody cares if you're in pain."

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just kick the shit out of the room for being black."

"What do you call a nun in space? Virgin Galactic"

"The Ninja Turtles went to a weapons store. They all got what they wanted except for Raphael They didn't have his sai's."

"What Kind Of Bagel Can Fly? A Plain Bagel."

"I Need To Tell You All SomeThing Very Important. Sanic Ate A Burrito Then Pooped On Bready."

"How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it."

"Did you hear about the new machine that creates earthquakes? It was groundbreaking."