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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new machine that creates earthquakes? It was groundbreaking."

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged a little"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Not sure but I ran over the fucker in my Toyota Yaris."

"I got kicked out of the library today I got kicked out of the library for putting the women's rights book in the fiction section"

"The crossed eyed teacher... ...had trouble controling his pupils."

"How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend? With arroz."

"2016: Trump elected 2018: Border wall completed 2020: Mexico takes Gold, Silver & Bronze in Pole Vault at the Summer Olympics"

"I heard hookers are now offering the ""Romney"" for $1,000. It includes every position."

"Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016 Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision"

"*coughs like a maniac* *pretends to pick nose* *scratches armpit* Things I will do on the bus so no one will sit next to me."