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Joke of the Day

"What did the stoned alpaca say to the other stoned alpaca? Alpaca 'nother bong"

"What has seven arms and sucks? Def Leppard"

"When I was a kid we were so poor... If I didn't wake up at christmas with a hard-on I'd have nothing to play with."

"I walk around with a hockey bag filled with dildos & chihuahua's just in case Paris Hilton fires her assistant and is looking for a new one."

"Just started listening to Fall Out Boy. They're more than I bargained for."

"I've never written a first draft of something that didn't make me think anyone who read it would immediately cut ties with me as a person."

"Did you hear about that poor gymnast's bank account? Her balance was outstanding."

"People will hate you, rate you, break you, and shake you. How strong you stand is what makes you.("",)"

"Did you hear they are planning to legislate that all time-telling devices should indicate numbers only as Roman numerals? Not on my watch!"

"Were PacMan and Ms.PacMan married or brother and sister? Have some fanfic that's either really awesome or really disturbing riding on this."