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Joke of the Day
"My wife just gave me that come hither look and when I come hithered she pointed to the trash"
Next Joke
"Child: ""Mama, I'm tired of running in circles..."" Mom: ""Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"""
"I really need to watch my language... You know what they say, swearing is the grammatical crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers."
"If you pronounce gullible very slowly it sounds like you're saying green bears."
"What do you call two nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call two nuts on a chest? Chestnuts. What do you call two nuts on a chin? A good blowjob."
"If you are unsure whether your kitten is male or female try this: - Tickle it - If HE laughs it's a male - If SHE laughs it's a female"
"What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Anything you want. He can't hear you."
"What do Lady Gaga and E. L. James have in common? They both wrote bad romance."
"You can't lose a homing pigeon... If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon."
"What do you get when you combine a goat egg and a goat sperm? A Zy-Goat I'll escort myself out."