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Joke of the Day

"If you smoke a lot of cigarettes & gaze out of a window while your foot is propped up on something you can figure out pretty much anything."

"Q. What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden have in common? A. They both look out their caves and see rubble."

"How do you make a fire with two sticks? You make sure one is a match !"

"You know in a video game when you kept pushing b to get through the talking part but later realized you should've read it? That's adulthood."

"The director of EA walks into a bar *Download the punchline for only 4.99* Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind Redditor!"

"Feed me once shame on you, Feed me twice i'm moving in."

"There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery... One day the group leader comes in and says ""I see a lot of new faces this week... I must say, I'm disappointed!"""

"If I was a funeral director, I'd tell everyone ""I'll see you later"" & then wink, because it's fun to freak people out."

"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely... ...if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone."

"What's the worst way to tell a guy his small penis is okay? Oh honey, I'm not worried about a little thing like that!"