22990

Joke of the Day

"what do hookers and guns have in common? the customer wants the most bang for their buck."

"I got the chance to watch a women's final for beach volleyball last night... What a semi!!"

"I found Alan Rickman in the grocery store yesterday... Jk"

"The first time I spent the night at my girlfriend's house, her father would not let us sleep together... ...which is a shame because he was very attractive."

"What did the Englisman say when he got a bad deal at the bazaar? Egypt me!"

"I used to indecisive, now I'm not so sure....."

"Roy Hodgson has told the England squad that they'll have to tighten their belts next week. He also added that they should not remove them until the ""fasten seat belt"" sign goes out."

"Expecting an idiot to admit they're wrong feels a lot like trying to put socks on an octopus."

"All work and no play... .... makes Abraham Lincoln a full term president. Im going to hell."

"The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn't so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4. Why do I do this to myself"