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Joke of the Day

"asians are amazing at reddit think about it, it's basically just dance dance revolution but with only two buttons"

"I stuck my d**k in a car Now my sexuality is exhausting."

"Drank the liquid from my Magic 8 Ball and now I can predict the future with even less accuracy than I could before."

"What happened to the girl who went fishing with a group of men? She returned home with a red snapper."

"My boss asked if he dropped his watch in the toilet Because I was shitting on his time And joke creds to him. I was also fresh out of witty comebacks..."

"I hate it when you're on the bus and the local weirdo get on and sits next to you. You know, the ones that watch you having a wank."

"Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a flask of whiskey, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter."

"I played a blank CD at full blast yesterday ...the mimes next door went nuts."

"If Twitter weren't for unconsidered blather, they wouldn't have named it after bird noises."

"In our football match today the opposition hit the bar three times in the first half. I know we're not very good but they could have at least waited until the end to celebrate."