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Joke of the Day

"My boss asked if he dropped his watch in the toilet Because I was shitting on his time And joke creds to him. I was also fresh out of witty comebacks..."

"It was Christmastime, and everyone was feeling merry.. ..so she went home. ---- I know it works better when spoken. My grandpa used to say this line every Christmas. RIP Tata, you made reddit."

"*interview* So, why do you want to be a judge? *Imagines myself going work everyday in my robe* ""To fight crime"""

"This woman at the bar said ""move, you're blocking the door"" & I'm like strange pickup line but sure here's my number."

"What where Adam's first words to Eve? ""Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!"""

"My dad taught me to swim by rowing me to the middle of a lake and tossing me overboard... It was pretty easy once I got out of the bag!"

"Hospital When checking a patient in for surgery, he said he was a mechanic. I said, ""Good, the surgeon likes that because you understand when there are parts left over."""

"I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. Ninety-eight of them said, ""Screamed get out.. get out of my bathroom?"""

"Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? She didn't know either"

"What do you call a fat man in a white t-shirt? A Man-in-a-tee."