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Joke of the Day

"Drank the liquid from my Magic 8 Ball and now I can predict the future with even less accuracy than I could before."

"[High School Reunion] Him: I started my own Law Firm last year Me: It took 2 months, but I convinced my wife Space Jam was a true story"

"There is only one thing that could possibly stop Messi's unstoppable form Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick"

"Don't google ""can you die from an ear infection"" at 2am"

"Cow joke What's wrong with Bessie? She looks like she's in constant pain! She has mooootiple sclerosis"

"Why do Jews hate sex? Because porkin isn't kosher."

"Israel is like STOP TOUCHING ME and Palestine is like YOU'RE TOUCHING ME and Hillary is like I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER."

"Anal with my girl friend made my whole week... It also made her hole weak"

"2010: Didn't jog 2011: Didn't jog 2012: Didn't jog 2013: Didn't jog 2014: Haven't jogged ~ This is a running joke"

"As an organ donor I wonder if there's some box I can check that might prevent my organs from keeping Dick Cheney alive?"