229864

Joke of the Day

"Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever."

"Why did Abe Lincoln and Stephen Douglas get thrown out of the church? Because they were caught mass debating in the bathroom."

"Wife:How'd you sleep? Me: Fine except I got in a gun fight and died and went to the store because I ran out of shampoo W: Ambien:*giggles"

"Going to meet my daughter's kindergarten teacher tonight. Her name is Miss Cox. Not sure I'm mature enough for this situation."

"Ever see the movie human centipede? That movie sucks ass."

"Jury remains deadlocked in the case of Good Times v. Bad Times"

"Why does a rooster watch TV ? For hentertainment !"

"No thanks, people who hum to themselves. I've seen enough horror movies to know that you probably just killed someone or you're possessed."

"Scientists are close to re-enacting The Big Bang theory. Hope its got another hot blonde with nice tits in it."

"Macs ranked best to worst - Fleetwood - book pros - n cheese - klemore"