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Joke of the Day

"No thanks, people who hum to themselves. I've seen enough horror movies to know that you probably just killed someone or you're possessed."

"Why can't black people swim? Because there is no water in Africa."

"What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca and a vampire? AUTOEXEC.BAT (Not my joke, but I tell it every time a buzz needs killed.)"

"What do Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Saville have in common ? They both shafted minors in the 1980's."

"Pac Man is my favourite video game about my life. It keeps getting harder and I can't stop eating everything in sight."

"There are plenty of fish in the sea. There are also sharks, giant isopods, oil spills, Flight 370, and Somali pirates."

"So did you have a nice,relaxing holiday asked the all people without three kids"

"Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?"

"Today is my birthday... and I'm Jewish."

"What's the difference... What's the difference between a colostomy bag and a politician? The bag isn't always full of shit!"