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Joke of the Day
"I threw a party for all my non-orgasmic friends Nobody came."
Next Joke
"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted"
"TIL I'm good at posting at the wrong subreddit... jk jk fuck you guys"
"*tree falls in the forest* *tree pretends to start jogging so it doesn't look like an idiot*"
"Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner? Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin."
"Blood is thicker than water. Then again, so is oatmeal, and I would much rather be oatmeal brothers."
"English class...... Teacher. One day our country will be corruption free. which tense is it?? student. Future impossible tense."
"What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste. I'll show myself out."
"A politician set out to create the most jobs Crime creates lots of jobs - police, insurance, repairs, medical if its violent crime, lawyers... and so was born the criminal nature of politicians."
"Have the uneasy feeling there are Baldwin brothers out there I don't know about yet."