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Joke of the Day

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted"

"How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey? With his Shtick."

"Who abhors a vacuum more than nature? A cat."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers But the cashier keeps putting it back."

"Why was the farmer hopping mad ? Because someone had trodden on his corn !"

"I'm so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me."

"Where do women in the WNBA shop? It's definitely not at dicks."

"""Pray, love, eat."" -- A mantis"

"I think Adam Johnson should remain on FIFA 16 Because it means that kids will get to play with him for once"

"Answer your phone, ""come in"" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond."