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Joke of the Day

"Have the uneasy feeling there are Baldwin brothers out there I don't know about yet."

"""So how was your date?"" I talked about my obsession with reducing fractions too much ""That wasn't a good idea"" Yeah well, hindsight is 1"

"What's the difference between your mom and a condom? A condom wasn't on my dick last night!"

"What did the scientist say before he died by mixing Hydroxide and Nitrate? ""OH^- NO^3+ !"""

"Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: ""Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"""

"My youngest son gave me a dead leg yesterday. Now I'm wondering where he got it from."

"Why can't a blonde count to 70? Because 69 is a mouthful."

"Got my son to paint our fence by telling him it was his first karate class."

"Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties."

"No male deserves to win the lottery.. They already won it when they were born."