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Joke of the Day
"Villains: Just leave the city where the super hero is. Problem solved."
Next Joke
"They say it takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile. So, I say exercise your face... Get married and have teenage children. You will be frowning more than you imagined."
"Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney movie where the curse sounds amazing."
"If my memory gets any worse I'll be able to plan my own surprise party"
"Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics? Because they never have any sandwiches."
"I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have........ Happy New Year!"
"What is Siri really good at? Playing pocket pool."
"The only relative I want to see at my door is Papa John."
"Another day done. Time to kick back and second-guess every social interaction I had at work."
"dad, we have ants on the counter! Hey, some of them are uncles, moms, and dads. (Thanks dad)"