229786

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle? My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle."

"Pregnant wife: Are you going to be a good big sister? 3-year-old: Babies are jerks."

"What do you call it when someone starts telling a joke"

"How are you supposed to be politically correct... How are you supposed to be politically correct and still have a gender reveal party?"

"If kittens tasted like pizza I would totally be a cat person."

"My friends were making fun of Starlord I told them that Pratt Shaming isn't welcome in my house"

"A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station."

"I sexually identify with the black guy in a horror movie because this won't last long and we all know it"

"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you're out of eyes."

"Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL"