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Joke of the Day

"My blind friend complained I was putting things in his way... He'll get over it."

"What finally killed Captain Hook? Jock Itch!"

"Did you hear what happened to the guy that only ate cake? He got his just desserts."

"My dog only responds to commands in Spanish He's Espanyol"

"What did the dubstep valentine's day card say? I wub you"

"Q: What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A: I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face..."

"Women... are like hardwood floors. Lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life."

"Have you ever tried to eat your own watch? Well it's very time consuming."

"Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life."

"Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a head of hare (hair)."