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Joke of the Day

"When I get on facebook I get excited when I see the red numbers over the globe thing until I open it and find it is for a stupid game request."

"One day a man was making a password... He tried the password ""my penis"". The laptop said, ""Error, not long enough."""

"What do you call two marry-go-rounds having sex? I don't know, i'm just fucking around."

"How Many Marshawn Lynches Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb? Only one. Just as long as you hand him the damn lightbulb."

"Just heard the phrase naturally boneless chicken and that'll keep me awake tonight."

"This just in. My fingers."

"I'll die fat, drunk & happy while you live healthy until you get run over by a bus... See ya at the cemetery!"

"A sandwich walks into a bar... The bartender says we don't serve food here."

"What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into? None of your abyss-ness"

"What do you call it when a Catholic remodels his kitchen? A counter reformation."