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Joke of the Day

"I'll die fat, drunk & happy while you live healthy until you get run over by a bus... See ya at the cemetery!"

"Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked."

"Where do taxi drivers with bad skin go for treatment? The Taxi Dermist."

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... ...fucking livid..."

"If I ever have a stroke I'm going to tell kids that stare I was making a face when the wind changed and then I had a stroke."

"This hot fudge sundae hasn't killed me so it must be making me stronger."

"My friend decided to become an astrophysicist instead of an engineer. I guess you could say he got sucked into black holes."

"If all the good ones are taken and you are single, what does that make you?"

"I just released a new fragrance, and the people on this elevator are not happy about it."

"A man walks into a bar. He then says ""ouch."""