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Joke of the Day

"Today I had an allergic reaction to a peanut... **This title contains content from FINE BROTHERS ENTERTAINMENT who has it blocked on copyright grounds.**"

"This diet is probably gonna end in murder, but still pretty excited. I'm gonna look so skinny in my mugshot!"

"What's Jay-Z's favorite city to perform in? SHEBOY-gan You're welcome"

"Every woman I've ever been with only saw me the way they wanted to see me... ...in their rearview mirror."

"*looks at watch* come on, I gotta get back to browsing the same four websites over and over"

"Paddy needs to get his shit together"

"I invented a new word... Plagiarism."

"I wear lipstick when I go into Walmart so people know I'm not approachable or one of their kind"

"What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets Women"

"Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way We urn it."