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Joke of the Day

"I'm selling a parachute just as new, used only one time, didn't open once."

"A man asks his wife... Husband: ""Honey, how come you never shout my name when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""Because you're never there."""

"Why is OP's mum like a bowling ball? Because she gets picked up, fingered and thrown down an alley then still comes back for more."

"The US is having so many disasters and tragedies Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds. Edit: Hey thanks for the gold stranger!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, MY EYES ARE UP HERE I yelled at my gynecologist"

"Did you hear about the homemade poison ivy remedy? You can make it from scratch."

"The south was reported to have more Ashley Madison users than any other region in the U.S. I guess family isn't always enough."

"Did you hear the Vikings traded Adrian Peterson? They traded him to the Minnesota Twins because the Twins needed a Switch Hitter."

"I started a figurine company that specializes in miniature Muhammad statues We make a small prophet."

"I'll never forget the words of my late Grandfather... ""Sorry I'm late."""