229601

Joke of the Day

"""So I was on a spaceship, and you were there, but it was not you, you know? Anyways..."" - MLK's less important dream"

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the teeth."

"Everyone on Instagram has pics of them at places all over the world & I'm like here's another shot of me from a different angle on my sofa"

"where do you go when you're fly to death? the terminal"

"A recent study by statisticians... ...shows the average human has one breast and one testicle."

"My friend David lost his ID yesterday... We just call him Dav now"

"Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop."

"Loose weight I feel that the only option for me to loose weight is to either smoke crack or ingest a tape worm but they both require a commitment level that I am uncomfortable with."

"What do you call a girl from Alabama who's faster than her brothers? A virgin"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? because you didn't cook it. ^^probably ^^old ^^but ^^I ^^read ^^it ^^for ^^the ^^first ^^time"