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Joke of the Day

"Me: Why can't we feed the animals? Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*"

"Boarding from what gate?"

"How does the Consigliere get into the Godfather's house late at night? with his own set of donkeys!"

"Did you hear about the Bausch & Lomb tech who fell into a giant lens grinder? He really made a spectacle of himself"

"If you're cold, stand in the corner It's usually 90 degrees"

"What is the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield? Its butt."

"Google is the #1 company in the world. How about them apples ?"

"Did you hear about the Pigeon rebellion? Yeah, it was a ""coo"" d'etat."

"Where is the best place to buy computer software? Washington C.D"

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? . Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat"