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Joke of the Day

"Me: Why can't we feed the animals? Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*"

"There's a gap in my knowledge of clothing retailers"

"Man with five penises As the man with five penises put on a condom, he sighed. ""Fits like a glove."""

"I've discovered a magical land through the back of the wardrobe, it's inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile."

"What is so ironic about Atheists? A: they're always talking about God."

"What does an electrician say when he's confused? Watt?!"

"What does Isaac Asimov take when he has the flu? I, Robotussin."

"How many blondes does it take to make a great joke? Yes."

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it. (credit to Tasteless)"

"blonde joke of the day Blonde: ""What does IDK stand for?"" Brunette: ""I don't know."" Blonde: ""OMG, nobody does -"