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Joke of the Day

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only two, but I don't know how they get in there."

"Dr. King Schultz wins the Oscar.. The white man profiting yet again at the expense of the black man."

"What do you call a nut? What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on your chin? My dick in your mouth"

"It would be way cooler if whenever you punched a kid, a bunch of coins came out of them like in Mario. But ya, I'm free to babysit tonight."

"""I'm going to lay right here in the doorway and give people a dumb look as they trip over me.""- Damned dog.... Could've been me though."

"Popped a tire on a pot hole today Badum tss"

"What do u get when u mix a douche and a tool? Scottsdale."

"I never get the silent treatment when I really want it."

"My wife is breaking up with me because of my masturbation addiction... Boy do I feel like a big jerk."

"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""why the long face?"" To which the horse replies ""I have testicular cancer""."