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Joke of the Day
"My New Year's resolution is to cut back on my drinking... One fifth a day, max."
Next Joke
"A dad walks into his daughter's room and saw her fapping with a cucumber, he said: Hey! I was going to eat that, now it's going to taste like cucumber!"
"You gotta kiss a lotta frogs to get a lotta desperate late-night texts from frogs."
"A day or two after eating jalapenos I realize I've made a mistake That shit burns."
"Potatoes are just poor defenseless vodka fetuses. Remeber that the next time you eat a french fry or hash browns, you monsters."
"Plane turbulence is caused by flying over hot areas, flying over mountains, and you getting up to use the airplane bathroom"
"Can you name even one East African country? Well, Kenya?"
"What's the difference between dead hookers and copper plumbing? I don't have copper plumbing 8n my crawlspace."
"What kid of music do old people listen to? Hip-Pop"
"You know, they're making the prospective Mars astronauts shave their whole bodies prior to departure. That way, when it's time for blastoff... they'll baldly go where no man has gone before."