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Joke of the Day

"Plane turbulence is caused by flying over hot areas, flying over mountains, and you getting up to use the airplane bathroom"

"It all The title says it all."

"I saw her biting her bottom lip so I threw her a cupcake. Poor girl must have been starving."

"[date started at 9 pm] [9:30 pm] Her: I love long awkward silences. [10:20 pm] Me: Me too."

"Do you know what Taylor Swift's belly button looks like? A Blank Space"

"Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant."

"So a mexican says... Fuck weed, Legalize my mom."

"I lied. There was no crime. I just wanted to see how long it would take the police sketch artist to realize I was describing Patrick Swayze."

"Why are these Facebook status updates so much more interesting than usual? Oh, because this isn't Facebook - it's a mattress label. My bad."

"4 dead in office shooting Boss: ""looks like they're fired"" Secretary: ""No sir, they were fired at"""