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Joke of the Day

"You gotta kiss a lotta frogs to get a lotta desperate late-night texts from frogs."

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says give me a beer... ...and a mop"

"Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day. Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns. Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins. Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns."

"What's black & white and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a javelin through her neck."

"I can't stand being in a wheelchair. Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny."

"Some Irish feminists decided to go braless to make a statement, but one named Erin wouldn't do it. So the rest of the group got really angry and shouted at her: Erin, go braless!"

"Jesus, take the wheel! *steering wheel disappears* *car careens into tree*"

"Did you hear about the Navy hangar that doubles as a church? It's a house of warship"

"People who love dark chocolate are always so snobby about it. Relax. It's just chocolate, you elitist ninnies."

"I know it's ""cool"" to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That's somebody's daughter."