229537

Joke of the Day

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80s bands... Apparently there's no Cure."

"What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack"

"I feel bad every time I lie to Waze and say I'm the passenger when I'm really driving."

"I should put my GPA up for adoption. There's no way I can raise it by myself."

"Best pick up line in a gay bar? ""May I push your stool in?"""

"There's no greater waste of time in life than wishing a one-year-old a happy birthday."

"How can you tell if a chemistry joke is shitty? If there isn't a reaction."

"What did the bartender say to the giraffe when he ordered a beer? Long neck or giraffed?"

"'This is the greatest thing since sliced bread!' Sliced bread peeks around corner, tears streaming, it was in the tv room & heard EVERYTHING"

"What are the chemicals in a midget's body that make them happy? En-dwarf-ins"