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Joke of the Day

"What are the chemicals in a midget's body that make them happy? En-dwarf-ins"

"Why did the criminal hide in the roof? It was very Con-Ceiling."

"Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. "

"Sometimes I watch Spike TV just to be reassured that I'm not even close to being the biggest asshole in the world."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel hanging from his crotch... The bartender asks, ""What's that hangin' off ye?"" The pirate responds, ""arrr! I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!"""

"If you say ""cray cray"" I'm going to punch you in the ""fay fay"","

"I just got whipped and gagged by a lady covered in a ton of specks of leather. She was a dot matrix dominatrix."

"A debator turned politician ordered everyone with beards to go home and come back the next day. He wanted them touche-v it."

"Idea for a podcast: Friends hang out together and have deep and meaningful discussions and nobody records it and it's not a podcast."

"What do you call a crashed Vertibird? ( Fallout 4) An Invertibird."