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Joke of the Day

"I went to a bulimic birthday party. First time I've seen the cake come out of the girl."

"""Tim's coming tonight"" ""Tim with hooves for feet or Tim that likes to bang coconut halves together?"" [in the distance] clip-clop clip-clop"

"Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?"

"A baby whale asks his father, ""Dad, where did I come from?"" The father replies, ""Well, I put my semen into your mother's vagina, and then you were born!"" ""Thanks, dad."" ""You're whalecum."""

"6: can i have ice cream? Me: ur room clean? 6: if I clean it can I have ice cream? M: sure 6:*looks at room* thats ok I dont need ice cream"

"Teenagers are so cute when they think you won't hit them"

"I was going to make an anal joke... Butt fuck it."

"Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too."

"My doctor said i had to take something against my kleptomania... So i stole his wallet."

"On predisents day we honor the big US man himself: Aberham Liclon. Tall, skinny, dry, and cruncy - he was america's carrot"