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Joke of the Day
"One of my favorite things about kids is that you only have to feed them once a week"
Next Joke
"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair"
"What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog? I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir."
"My wife always freaks out when she's on her period Keep having to tell her to stop ovary acting."
"Knock knock.... (Who's there?) Ellen Pao's Resume."
"What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder without a protein shake? No whey Jose"
"Trying to make a video fullscreen, my dad asked me, ""How do I big it?"" Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian."
"Just converted my savings to pesos and HOLY SHIT am I rich!!!!!!!!"
"I saw a girl texting while driving the other day.. it really pissed me off, so I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her."
"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the floor Matt"