19030

Joke of the Day

"Knock knock.... (Who's there?) Ellen Pao's Resume."

"Why did the black boy fall off his bike? He didn't, he fell off yours."

"I used to be a banker but I lost interest"

"I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point. She turned around and found out I was walking her home."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel down the front of his pants. The bartender says, ""Hey mate, what's with the wheel?"" The pirate responds, ""Arg, it's driving me nuts!"""

"6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter."

"Knock, Knock..."

"Mrs Claus hospitalised with severe cramps. Heavy Christmas period to blame."

"I wish my car could put its hands in its pockets and whistle when I drive by a cop."

"Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so quickly? They squealed on each other."