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Joke of the Day

"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"

"Why arent koalas actual bears? They dont meet the koalafications."

"What do you call a person who's happy on a Monday? Unemployed."

"I was going to make a chemistry joke... but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction."

"In history we were asked to give our opinion on the representation of slaves in the United States in the 18th and 19th centuries... I gave it a 3 out of 5"

"Being calm is not something I rate."

"What is the difference between a symphonic orchestra and a bull? The bull has its horns in the front and the asshole in the back!"

"How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch cook in the dark!!!"

"If anything is possible, is it possible for something to be impossible?"

"You hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction."