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Joke of the Day

"extremely suspicious that there's no information about brains that didn't come from a brain"

"My ex wife still misses me... BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER"

"It's looking like Hillary is definitely going to win the election I think I might move to Benghazi, at least she'll leave me alone there."

"A man on crutches walks into his local Ice-Cream shop.. He asks the lady behind the desk for a Knickerbocker Glory. She says; ""Crushed nuts?"" He says; ""No, a sprained ankle"""

"I was very lonely so I bought some shares. It's nice to have a bit of company."

"took the kids to the park so they could beat each other up in the fresh air"

"Damn girl, are you a hoover? Cuz dam"

"Lucy fell in front of the train she screamed out for help ""HELP ME! I DONT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY!!"", so Luke came running over and cut her throat instead. Nice work Luke. You should be more like Luke."

"I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil unfortunately it's cheesy and pointless"

"Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps."