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Joke of the Day

"Being a bachelor is dangerous. I pulled a groin muscle while getting out of bed. Over and over and over...."

"How did the medical community come up with the term PMS? Mad cow disease was already taken."

"If you know shes had a bad day just ask her how she is doing. Then when shes talking you can think of a good tweet that makes fun of her day"

"SRS bait. How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her."

"The Wifi and the deodorant of the person sitting next to me on this flight did not work :("

"Top 3 invisible things: 1) 2) 3)"

"Instead of a wallet, I always keep my money in an envelope that says ""For the orphans"" so people will feel terrible if I'm ever murdered."

"My GF can't stand that I'm a model Prisoner"

"I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous. It's just a shame I'm a lefty."

"An Irish girl tells her mother that she's decided to become a prostitute. ""A WHAT?!"" her mother says. ""A prostitute,"" the daughter says. ""Thank god,"" the mother says. ""I thought you said Protestant."""