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Joke of the Day

"At the coffee shop, I saw a German guy reading the first few pages of a book about WWII and smiling. Keep reading, buddy. Keep reading."

"Anyone heard that joke going around about paper? I thought it was pretty tearable."

"Words can't possibly describe how beautiful you are... But numbers can 4/10"

"Today is Compliment Someone Randomly Day. And may I just say that this paper bag would go beautifully with that outfit you're wearing."

"What does a new Tesla car smells like? Elon Musk"

"[Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza"

"Did you hear Uber and Lyft are merging? They're rebranding as ""Luber: For when you need to come fast!"""

"Where's the red light district in Toronto? Behind the Maple Leafs' net."

"Why did the Mexican civil war last so long? Because they were fighting Juan on Juan."

"My wife bought four grapefruit spoons. You know, for all those times in your life when there are four people eating grapefruit at once."