131910

Joke of the Day

"Calling ""shotgun"" is great way to lighten the mood when getting in the squad car after the cops arrest you."

"What's worst than being just a procrastinator... Being caught in an infinite loop because of being a procrastinator who loves to plan."

"I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts. Well sew it seams anyway."

"The inventor of distorted mirrors has died. His funeral with be held in asymmetry."

"Why didn't Johnny go to the 7 A.M. funeral? Because he just isn't a mourning person."

"I'm going to start a blog for irrational numbers... I think I'll call it the 3.1 forums..."

"What is a printer's favorite Village People song? YMCK"

"My husband doesn't like it when I say we are ""married"" with quotation marks."

"My girlfriend said I was stupid for taking unnecessary risks. At least I think that's what she said. I was too busy trimming my pubes with a chainaw at the time."

"I came up with a movie idea. A man's daughter is abducted. This man has has a unique set of skills and goes on a revenge rampage. But the idea was taken."