200726

Joke of the Day

"*gets bitten *becomes shy shy"

"[boss finds pics of me snowboarding] ""You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING"" *fist bump*"

"Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy."

"Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted."

"Instead of being buried or cremated, I've arranged to be liquidized. I'm not going to any funeral I can't get drunk at."

"What's the opposite of marshmellow? Well, I guess it would be marshmadness"

"Joke What goes oom oom"

"I'm a pedophile Just kidding"

"Guido Mastrobatatti died when he hurt his arm? How? He had elbow-a"

"If your key ring is full of keychains with clever sayings, plus a stick filled with glittery water, I know you had a baby in high school."