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Joke of the Day

"Why did the woman turn to her husband and say ""now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?"" She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs."

"What does a bro say when asked if he needs help doing a magic trick? Nah brah, tadah brah!"

"How to fall down the stairs Step 1 Step 2 Step 5 Step 9 Step 12 Floor."

"Two homosexuals are bored... "" Let's play a game, if you win I'll play the girl's role. -OK -What has four legs and goes meow? -A crocodile. -You won !"""

"I never knew I was allergic to iron... Because after hitting the weights I get swollen."

"Did you hear about the short-sighted circumsiser? He got the sack."

"A guy with a wooden eyeball is self conscious... ...so he asks the homeliest girl at the ball if she would like to dance. She looks him straight in the face and says ""would I?!"""

"I just burned 1,500 calories! I forgot the pizza in the oven."

"There's no time like the present. Or later. Later on is pretty similar, actually."

"Is it so wrong to bang on your neighbor's door at 2am and ask them to reset their modem?"