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Joke of the Day
"You know what they say about killing bees... It's a real buzzkill."
Next Joke
"*returns lost dog* Lady: That's not him. He was white Me: *holding a brown dog* He asked to swing by the salon. Add the color to my reward"
"A guy asks his girlfriend make him feel awesome and sad at the same time Girlfriend: Out of all your friends you have the biggest penis"
"One atom asks a hipster atom, ""Hey, did you lose an electron?"" The hipster atom replies, ""No, I'm just being ionic."""
"5-year-old: I can't finish my lunch. I don't feel good. Me: OK, then no ice cream. 5-year-old: I'm sick, not dead."
"My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality I don't know what that means, but must be pretty good if I've got it."
"[pours a bag of sugar over a tire fire] hmmm [tastes remnants] i think i'll call it... Twizzlers"
"The higher they are, the more spaced out they get What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?   ^^The ^^punchline ^^need ^^not ^^be ^^always ^^at ^^the ^^end..."
"What's the difference between an epileptic farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? The farmer shucks between fits!"
"Walks into a bar A neutron walks into a bar and asks ""how much for a beer?"" The bartender says, ""for you? no charge."""