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Joke of the Day

"My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head."

"If the Narwhal Bacons at Midnight... Does the Unicorn Potato at Noon?"

"My coworkers think it's funny they have power & I don't. I think it's funny how they won't get home to enjoy it cuz their tires are slashed."

"Nerd Joke Man walks into a bar and days ""Bartender, I'll have an H2O."" His friend says ""Ill have some H2O, too"" His friend dies."

"A cheeseburger walks up to a bar.. Cheeseburger says: ""Excuse me, can I have a pint of lager please?"" Barman says: ""No sorry, we don't serve food."""

"I think I might be a genius! My nephew has a 12 piece jigsaw puzzle that says 3-5 years on the box and I managed to complete it in just 7 hours!"

"So I was using a zester on a lemon recently, when I paused for a second and realised... ..that I was only just scratching the surface."

"How can you tell if someone has a Jamaican accent? They roll their J's."

"my friend told me on first dates i should just ""be myself"" and ""be confident"" and i was like ""ok but which one?"""

"What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies ? Barium"