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Joke of the Day
"How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship? 9/11"
Next Joke
"When looking at the list of the best 10 Presidents of the last 150 years Obama's name really jumps off the page. Because it knows it sure as hell doesn't belong there."
"ME: I can understand why, it's so silky and luxurious. THEM: Huh? I said I worship Satan. ME: Oh. I thought you said ""satin."""
"[auditions for laundry detergent commercials just so I can splash brightly colored food on myself on purpose]"
"What's green and goes red at a flick of a switch. Kermit in a blender."
"I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes"
"My wife is a famous porn star. But she would be pissed if she ever found out."
"Did you hear oxygen and magnesium started dating? I know, right! Like, OMg!"
"How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb? None, we just swap out your whole house"
"I met a hot chick That girl was on fire."