81979
Joke of the Day
"My wife is a famous porn star. But she would be pissed if she ever found out."
Next Joke
"I hate people with club feet... I'm lack toes intolerant."
"""I just called to say I love you."" -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work"
"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, ""Well, that's not going to happen."""
"Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead."
"What did the chemist say when he caught his brother stealing halogens? Bro, mine"
"At the mattress store I set all the sleep numbers to 69, because I'm hilarious and original and sexy."
"They offered me money to promote a product in my Twitter account, but my dignity is strong, as Axion ""The true grease stain remover"""
"Judge: ""Reason for divorce?"" Me: ""Reconcilable differences."" Judge: ""Don't you mean irreconcilable?"" Me: ""Ugh. You sound just like her."""
"I'm starting a new sport where people race on sea horses. I call it, ""Aquastrianism."""