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Joke of the Day

"My German plumber accidentally hooked up my gas line to my shower... Looks like old habits die hard."

"Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."

"The best pick up advice I've ever been told is.. ..always bend your knees."

"I ignored your Facebook Friend Request only because there isn't a ""Oh Hell No!"" Button!!!"

"If I had a year to live, I would spend it with my ex... because it would be the longest year of my life."

"What were the Virgin Islands called, after Chuck Norris visited them? The Islands"

"Emma Stone is my girlfriend. Nobody tell her, though. I want it to be a surprise."

"What's the difference between a magic show and a strip show? A magic show is full of **cunning stunts**"

"A black man walks into a bar... ...with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender exclaims, ""Wow! How exotic! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" Says the parrot."

"Just bought some shoes from my drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."