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Joke of the Day

"Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you've been under water for too long."

"Why didn't the scarecrow want dessert? Because he was stuffed!"

"Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER"

"What do you call it when a doctor has sex with a quarantined patient? Sick Fuck."

"This entire pizza told me thigh gaps are for queers."

"I really should learn to say ""congratulations"" instead of ""are you keeping it?"""

"""Balls!"" cried the queen. ""If I had two I'd be king!"" The king laughed. He had to."

"So my friend asks me if I like the genre Metal... I told him that I don't know what a genre is, but I do like copper and steel."

"What should you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise."

"How does a Muslim get a hot date? He puts it in the microwave. EDIT: Looks like you guys are real dim...."